Yvonne Foong

I’ve always been interested in the unknown. I’d shrug for awhile like when I first heard about the Bermuda Triangle. Well, I actually went there before when I was 9 years old and thank goodness I did not get trapped. But really, the unseen like afterlife isn’t so scary after all. Just like when they say that humans are the worst trouble. Now, that’s not relevant but…

I don’t know if it’s a privilege to be able map my own life. Some people prefer to live within fate’s control. I don’t think that is a good idea but choosing is also very scary. Suddenly, it strucked me that it’s not the guy I choose, but the path I opt to take. I was very delighted to see the fork at the start of my love line dissappearing. But now, I wonder if it’s a good thing.

Ever since I chose to take Dr. Friedman’s offer, something unconciously happens gradually. Now, I do not miss Yukito as much as before. I”m still emotionally attached to him. When I receive his mails and hears about him, I become very delighted. But at normal times, I don’t have that sweet and sour feeling anymore. Instead, I feel like he is literally dead. Have you had any loved ones depart this world? For example, when my aunt first died, I was very upset and cried myself to sleep many times. The pain was very vivid as if it was physical. But after a long time, the grief is no longer there. I still remember her very well, but I do not feel her anymore.

Like now, I do not remember how it felt at Yuki’s presence. It’s like I knew this guy some very long time ago and now he’s just completely gone, physically. The e-mails and messages are plain materials that humors the mind. I doubt sometimes, could the sender be impersonating Yuki? Am I not speaking to Yuki?

DISTANCE is what really makes the heart go fonder, but absence makes us forget.

Could Yuki be influenced by my options in life? But looking at my priorities, I did make this decision according on it.

Whatever happens, I know for sure that I will be happy with whatever choices I make.