Article: When will my torments end?
Another tumor discovered. This one is somewhere along my chin bone. It can easily be dismissed as part of the bone, but upon closer inspection, it is indeed an alien inhibitant. I should be very emotional about this new member onboard, but I feel nothing except fear. I don’t feel anything more because new tumors grow so often that I’ve developed a high degree of apathy towards all this.
I went swimming yesterday. Ironically, there is a tumor on my residual balance nerve. If that goes, I will not be able to swim ever again. Anyway, I was not alone in the water. As though I was a massive sub-marine tank, and the tumors inside me are the crew men. Or maybe a sea turtle with many parasites inhibiting its shell. In a way, I felt like I’m the leader of my troop. When a new tumor is discovered, its like a new mushroom growing on a damp lock- me.
I honestly have no idea what the future lies for me in regards to my health. How am I supposed to go far with so many time bombs ticking inside my body? How many more surgeries can I afford to withstand? How much more strength do I have to drain? What’s going to happen when my last straw is pulled? It is said that our lifespan may be prolonged, thanks to the advancement of medical treatments. But very honestly, how much more can my body endure? I am only 19 for God’s sake. If I’m lucky enough, I may have more than 50 years to fight on. But how much more than I really take?
16 comments16 Comments so far
Are you ready for a suggestion?
Have you tried alternative therapies yet? Reflexology, acupuncture, naturopathy, homeopathy, ayurveda, herbalogy etc.
Hello Jemey. Thanks for the suggestion but my illness is genetic.
Hmm…don’t be too sure. There are many illnesses or conditions that doctors do not know the origins of, for example, ADHD (attention deficit hyperactive disorder) which autism is part of. There is an increase in prevalence of the condition worldwide which the doctors do not know the cause of or even the cure.
Permit me to say this, but the doctors do not know everything. They have to put an aura of knowing things to put their patients at ease or simply because of arrogance.
There are currently a great debate going on in the states between the current medical establishment against the practitioners of alternative therapies (well, actually it has been going on for hundreds of years already).
The issue at hand is because the doctors claimed that there are no hard core scientific evidence to properly attribute the healings claimed by alternative therapies. By scientific, it is meant to be things that could be studied, analysed and systemised.
For example, it is hard to understand how homeopathic medicines which are greatly diluted until the original substance is no longer around, could be effective treatment for various diseases and illnesses. The doctors attribute the effectiveness on just simple placebo effect, which on the other hand could not explain why homeopathic medicines are effective for babies and animals too because babies and animals are not conditioned for this placebo effect.
Homeopathic treatment is also individualized for each patient where medication for fever differs for each person, depending on a host of other individual characteristics.
The doctors gave statistics of effectiveness for homeopathic treatments and found it to be unconvincing. What they also forgot to consider is, statistics could not be provided for the effectiveness of psychiatric treatment too since the treatment is individualized for each patient, but nobody seems to be bothered by it.
But I think, its suffice to say that, for patients like you, all this debate does not carry any meaning as long as you could be cured, by any means possible.
I encourage you to try. You have nothing to lose.
Hi Yvonne
*hugs* I don’t think I can find anything right to say. I am not going to suggest anything too because I am sure you have done all you can. So, I guess I will just silently pray for strength and courage and that the Big Boss (however your defination is, doesn’t matter) will put kind and helpful people in your path to make it a lot easier to journey through. Take care!
Jemey, thanks for your input. You are probably right. I have nothing to loose. Even if it won’t cure me, at least it would help relieve my stress and pain. I have heard a lot about reiki and qigong, I wonder if those would be beneficial. Do you have any contacts for that? I won’t want to try chinese medicine though. I have to be very careful that the medicine I take do not further ‘ignite’ the growth of tumors.
Hey Lilian, thank you very much for your concern. It is the thought that matters.
my full hearted blessing goes to you. i hope that everything will turn out alright.
take in heart that after every dark cloud, there’s a sun waiting to shine or a moon waiting to lit.
although there are many dark clouds in this world occuring and re-occuring but it is always the wait that makes life more interesting.
keep in mind about the people that love you and hopefully they will give you strength.
Thank you, Jimmy. I’m very touched.
Sorry, but i don’t know any qigong or reiki practitioners.
If you could afford it, why not try a whole regimen of alternative therapies, not limited to only one or two therapies.
I read a book recently at Kinokuniya, about a doctor who is currently giving naturopathy therapy to his patients after witnessing for himself the cure of his own wife from a delibitating nerve disease, which she had for the past 30 years or so, by using naturopathy products. But the sad fact was that, he had never believed in other forms of treatment before that apart from conventional treatment. He had been giving all kinds of drugs to cure his wife from the disease without success and all the while he witnessed his wife progressively being disabled by the disease, from a cheerful and active person into an immobilized person.
The important thing is to keep an open mind and be willing to try. There is no guarantee on anything but remember, you have nothing to lose.
Jemey, you seem to know quite a lot. Wha’ts your role in this subject? Anyway, do you have email or something that may we keep in touch for support?
[...] I had pledged my donation to Eden Handicap Centre which is the organisation chosen by Yvonne. Good people out there, check out this young lady’s blog. I believe not many of us have the kind of courage and strength like Yvonne. She just discovered another tumor and yet, her posting comes across with no bitterness but just pure determination. I met Yvonne only for a couple of hours and I am full of awe. [...]
I am so sorry to hear this. I believe this is the first time I read your blog.
May god bless you and your family. Get well!
I’m amazed at your positiveness and determination. Please tell me, would you mind if I get my students (on Ethics and Moral Education) to read your blog? I’m sure they can learn alot from your articles on dealing with life’s challenges.
Sure you may, Fishtail. I’m happy to know that my writings can be used as lessons for someone else.
Thanks Yvonne. Hang in there, and God bless.
Hi, I m also have NF1 too. Now my 2 kids also have NF 1.
But my body have alot of bump and cafe au leit spot.I
feel very urgy. but my 2 kids have cafe au leit spot.
So do you have any suggest for me.
Any spelling wrong pls forgive me. my english is very poor
hope you dont mind
A pleasure to look at, go on with this! Thanks!