I’m faced with yet another crossroad that’s waiting to be decided on. Both paths are fresh journeys to me, but they lead to the same destination.

On my right is a path that comes with a tour guide who knows the map like the back of his palm. This may be a slightly longer journey that is the least travelled by other hitchhikers, but the tour guide is a reliable and dear friend who wouldn’t complain when you stumble along the track.

On the left is a more common and shorter route, guided by one who knows all creatures of the forest that can safeguard the journey. Think of Tarzan and his animal friends who speaks their own language while we watch in awe. Our relation with Tarzan, however, proves to be a glitch because he is after all, a man of the jungle miggling with a few city mouse.

So dear readers, which path would you choose to partake?

Coincidentally, yesterday’s bible study class was on making decisions, that we should depend on God when deciding what’s best for us. I’m a bad student who forgot which verse did the book quote, but it may be one from the book of Joshua, telling us that whatever choices we have in life, one of them is the best that God wants for us, so make your decision according to God’s will. - This is my own explanation, so God, please forgive me if I’m wrong.

Here’s some other verses that may be helpful:

“for we walk by faith, not by sight.� (see 2 Cor. 4:1-5:20)
“If anyone of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God� (Jam. 1:5).

A very old friend named Lydia Gan, visited yesterday and brought along a very nice gift. It is a book by Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life“. I can’t wait to finish the book and write a review on it!

Ever since Singaporean blogging princess, Xia Xue wrote about her opinion regarding handicap toilets, I’ve been having nightmares about the times I was a orthopaedically handicap as well. In fact, while writing this post, I really feel like crying. But I have to hold back my tears, I have to be strong, yes I can and I have to.

I’d like to point out that handicap toilets are here for two reasons…

1. The extra space for easy access and bars to grip for balance
2. For emergency

I can understand that mundane people may not be aware of reason number two, because it’s a seldom highlighted issue. I can assure you that it is one of the major problems faced by orthopaedically handicaps. Please remember this very important fact. Spine injury means damaged nerves, and possibly nerves that control our bladder and bowel activity. If someone’s immobile due to spine injuries, chances are, their bladder and bowels are weak as well.

Spine injury means damaged nerves, and possibly nerves that control our bladder and bowel activity.

It’s not whether any handicaps are using those toilets, but rather, what if someone needs to use it urgently while you’re inside. By being unthoughtful, you’ll be the cause of MUCH difficulties and TRAUMA for others less lucky than you. PLEEEEASE remember this. Oh drats… I’m already in tears now.

p/s: Not all people with spine injuries are wheelchair bounds. I was still facing urinal inconsistency even when I could stand up and walk. That said, handicap toilets are for those with physical and neurological disabilities. Peter Tan may have been slightly rude in his words. But who can blame him, for all the difficulties that he has been through in the last 20 years? As I’ve mentioned earlier, my 6-month ordeal made me short-tempered and difficult, which is nothing compared to what Peter Tan has to face. Please understand. Don’t wait until you’re face-to-face with spinal injuries before you can learn to be accomodating, for heaven’s sake.

Lawyers are good at one thing- reading between the lines. They are gifted with the special ability of making simple things seem complicated. That’s probably a must in their jobs. Otherwise, everyone would know better.

I wonder if those literary contracts are written by lawyers as well. Maybe not, because they aren’t as tricky as legal letters. But they still require some familiarity in the publishing industry before you can tell if the offered contract is one worth signing.

Oon Yeoh the publisher sent me a draft agreement while I was asleep last night. He came through our chimney and tucked the brown envelope into Snoopy’s christmas socks instead of mine. The poor dog wasn’t happy with the misplacement. She demanded that Oon send another copy to my e-mail, but a little white mouse munched off his telephone line at an unfaithful time.

So I’m left with no choice, but to make do with those wet and blotted pages that I snatched from Snoopy’s destructive jaw. She didn’t brush her teeth that morning. If that’s not bad enough, I had to strain my eyes in order to read the scores of faded texts. Even with a magnifying glass, those grey patches seemed more like failed calligraphy.

The hardest part was cross-checking. Since I’m tied up with two literary agents and now a publisher, I’ve to make sure that the rights I give are exclusively for one party each. I can’t be offering worldwide rights to one and have another representing me in Europe at the same time, or have an agent holding rights to motion picture while another handling the same as well.

But don’t get me wrong. Laws are tricky, the publisher was not. This makes me wonder which profession is more favourable- business or law?

By the way, I just did some spring cleaning to my profile. Go take a peep!

I got a new job as proofreader for LiewCF.com! For those who has been bossing around PPS, you’d noticed by now, the pricks poking fun at Liew’s English command, which is an issue since he’s a full-time blogger. He did mention in the past about getting an editor. I thought he was only saying it at that time. But the steam started again this morning, and I thought, “hey, that guy’s serious!”.

It all happened so spontaneously that I forgot about my intention to join a gym. I went swimming yesterday, but with more difficulties. I almost drowned at one time when I lost the sense of gravity. When I regained conciousness (while holding my breath), the pool was LOPSIDED! but only for a few seconds before everything returned downside up. That short incident kept the lifeguard eyeing at me the whole time. How uneasy can that be.

So now it’s evident that my balance nerve is getting weaker by the day, I’ve to do something else for fitness. And hence, the gym. But where would I get the money? Elena’s keen on joining me, but still, I’ve to come up with the admin and monthly fees. Things were not looking bright and I was beginning to lose hope on this.

But I have to workout! I’ve got muscles to train, so that I can cope with the next surgery that’s bound to cause neurological changes. But there’s little that I can do other than including this matter in my prayer last night before falling asleep.

And lo and behold! God answered my prayers again. Not only did He get me the job of a proofreader, he also sent me someone who offered me to write for The Borneo Post! Well, it was actually a suggestion-type of offer, so let’s hope that it will turn out as initiated.

Before jotting down this post, I was once again, comtemplating about which blog to write for. I’ve just revived my blog at NF Malaysia and I intend on keeping it updated frequently. But FRIENDSHIP is quite a vague topic, so I decided to write it here in my personal blog.

I’m not afraid to say that I am blessed with friends who truly care about me. Unlike many teenagers who are still struggling to survive friendship problems, mixing around with conditional friends who aren’t sincere towards them. Many a times, I hear people whining about loosing their friends to someone else. They’d go to all ends to make sure that they’re up to par with their friends’ social standards, to the extend of refurbishing their wardrobes, changing lifestyles, and even adopting a complete different character and personality.

In the end? They’ll be passed as hypocrites and paranoids, thus resulting in restrained friendships that slowly begin to die off.

I feel that it’s an utter waste of time to change yourself in order to please someone else. Not only does it make you look desperate, you’re actually wasting precious time on someone who is most likely to turn on you. Because if the person is bothered by what you are, it only shows that the friendship is conditional that changes over the time.

But some people may attest to this by saying, some people simply have no choice. Read the rest of this entry »

I won another contest! The prize came in the mail this morning. It’s a Patrizio Buanne cassette, The Italian.

Introducing 26 year old singing sensation Patrizio Buanne. He’s only been in England a couple of months but is already causing quite a stir. After signing a record deal with Globe Records (Universal), amidst a bidding war between the UK major labels.

The Italian is an impressive debut album recorded with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra at Abbey Road over an eighteen month period.

Listing legends such as Dean Martin, Tom Jones and Paul Anker amongst his hero’s Patrizio has delivered a sophisticated album that instantly conjures up images of the classic American and Italian singers of the 50’s and 60’s. With great melodies and high value production Patrizio’s sound is remarkably fresh. Looking the part Patrizio takes great pride in his appearance. Unlike many recent pop acts trying to recreate this magical time Patrizio is the real thing. He’s not trying to be anything he’s not. “I always thought the crooners were cool. My dream is to be both modern and timeless”, says Patrizio.

A natural born entertainer, he’s been doing it all his life, Patrizio has already been winning the crowds over in the UK. In September Patrizio was asked to perform at the Royal Albert Hall for a special charity event. What a place to have your first ever UK performance! Patrizio rose to the challenge and not only won the audience over but won himself some celebrity fans in the process. Geri Haliwell was the first to congratulate him on his performance. “A dark suited lothario called Patrizio Buanne arrived in the oestrogen charged atmosphere like a match being dropped into a box of fireworks.” The Times - 20th September 2004

Patrizio’s talent was obvious from an early age. Inspired by his father’s love of music from the 40’s, 50’s and 60’s, he taught himself how to play both the guitar and the piano and started to write songs for himself. If The Italian is anything to go by the future looks bright for Patrizio. source

This is so heartbreaking. My left ear was still functioning when I joined the contest. But now, the cassette is only good for display. sigh! That’s it. Not more writing slogans for such contests. I should be aiming higher. Maybe a new handphone or pocket PC. Or even, a trip to meet the Crooner himself.

: Italian singing sensation Patrizio Buanne can now number Britain’s Queen Elizabeth among his fans after being asked to headline a Royal Garden Partythis summer. The 78-year-old monarch reportedly became a big fan of the crooner after the Duke of Edinburgh, gave her a copy of Buanne’s CD.

And it was such a hit with the Queen that Buanne - who lists legends such as Dean Martin, Tom Jones and Paul Anka amongst his heroes - soon received a call from Buckingham Palace.

Buanne said: “I was stunned to get the call. Someone from the Palace had come up to me at a party last month and told me that that Queen adored my album.

Visit the official website of Patrizio Buanne for more information and music samples.

My deepest condolence to friends and family of Yang Amat Berbahagia Datin Seri Endon Mahmood, wife of Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi.

Our Prime Minister’s wife has returned to Rahmatullah at 07:55hr this morning.

As a sign of respect. Let us commemorate the life of YAB Datin Seri through her biography.

Yang Amat Berbahagia Datin Paduka Seri Endon Mahmood is the wife of the Yang Amat Berhormat Dato’ Seri Abdullah Hj. Ahmad Badawi, the fifth Prime Minister of Malaysia. One of the identical twins born to Yang Berbahagia Dato’ Mahmood Ambak and Yang Berbahagia Datin Mariam Abdullah on 24 December 1940, Datin Paduka Seri Endon received her primary education at Sekolah Kebangsaan Methodist (then the Anglo-Chinese School) in Kampar, Perak and her secondary education at St. Mary’s Secondary Girls’ School, Kuala Lumpur.

She is the President of the Association of Wives of Cabinet Ministers and Deputy Ministers (BAKTI), Founder and Chairman of Yayasan Budi Penyayang Malaysia (PENYAYANG) and Patron of various charitable organisations, namely National Child Friendly Healthcare Association of Malaysia; Young Women Writers’ Association; Girl Guides Malaysia; Association of Wives of Civil Servants and Women Civil Servants (PUSPANITA) and Friends of Cochlea Implant Users Association.

She devotes her time to social, community and charity works, particularly to the welfare and well-being of women and children. She has successfully spearheaded several international welfare projects, namely The Bosnia Relief Fund, The North Korean Children’s Fund and The Kosovo Welfare Fund. On 24 August 2004, she was bestowed the Pingat Tun Fatimah by Her Royal Highness Raja Permaisuri Agong Tuanku Fauziah Tengku Abdul Rashid at the National Women’s Day dinner, to honour her contributions to society and community development.

With her hands-on approach, she offers excellent leadership to the community and charity projects that she is involved in. Apart from her untiring efforts at charity works, she is also a strong supporter for the arts and crafts, often willing to lend a hand in their promotion. Her love for preserving local heritage is evident in her private collection of artefacts, garments and household items.

She has been conferred various awards, which include Seri Paduka Mahkota Selangor (SPMS), Darjah Kebesaran Sri Sultan Ahmad Shah Pahang (SSAP) Yang Amat Mulia - Peringkat Pertama and Ahli Yang Kehormat Yang Pertama (Seri Paduka) Bagi Darjah Kebesaran Mahkota Kelantan Yang Amat Mulia (SPMK). She has also been conferred an Honorary Doctorate of Humanities by Universiti Teknologi Malaysia (UTM).

May you rest in peace. Amen.

And finally… a poem written by Cordelia Lee.

Ransacked closets, strewn clothes, untied plastic bags. I remember seeing a pair of brand new ballet shoes in there. One of the pair probably decided to run away, because it hated being abandoned so much. I’m sorry little shoe, but it’s not my choice.

The one that stayed back had an elastic band sewn across the top. It looks worn and very seasoned, and a little too small for me now. I must have worn this at grade four and below. Besides, the elastic band wouldn’t look good on a book cover.

So with a stark of dissapointment hanging in the air, my eyes darted around the room before catching sight of a pink bag. AHA! It was my ballet bag. Everything that I possibly need was in there. Two pairs of brand new ballet shoes and pointe shoes, with ribbons attached instead of the horrible looking elastic band. There was also an old pair with elastic bands, probably from grade 5. Why was it in there? But the answer doesn’t matter now. My black character shoes were there too.

So now I have them in sight again. One by one, I put them on and tied the ribbons around my ankle, to straighten the slightly crumpled leather. How beautiful they look. But I cannot dance in them anymore. Not before nerves along my legs miraculously heal. *sigh*

Now I need your help with a dilemma. Which one should go in the book cover. The normal one? Or the pointe shoes?

Left: Pointe, Right: normal

image source: Estrella Dancewear and Pearls in the Attic

Oon Yeoh’s business partner, Hou, from PWR:dsgn, came over this afternoon to snap some portraits of me. There was also a brief discussion on the book cover. He gave me a few suggestions, but I liked his idea of a pair of ballet shoes next to a book. Something so sweet and elegant about that. Reminds me of the past that I dearly miss- my ballet lessons. (what? you mean that big fat elephant was a dancer?)

Coincidentally, an old friendship of mine got rekindled today. A friend that greatly reminds me of the days I struggled to overcome sudden health deterioration, that took place in lieu of my transition to maturity. I was at my weakest, that caused extra sensitivity towards the surrounding world.

He was a friend when I was naive, silly, and clueless. He was a friend when I went under surgical knives, a friend when I stepped out of school, a friend when I entered college, a friend when I had my first job… and still very much a friend today.

So when I told him about the launch of Book Project 2, I felt very triumphant. Look! Yvonne is a big girl now. I don’t need Tremayne anymore. hahaha… no, the last bit was meant to be a joke. I don’t want to loose a friend over anything.

But the idea of my book cover, and my friendship with Tremayne, makes everything today so surreal. Oh well.. it’s all part of growing up.

On the sides, do check out these interesting articles:
Stuffs of Life, by Yan
Institutionalized Racism, by John