Yvonne Foong: Fighting NF

Someone had just shared a story in one of the forums that I’m a member of. It’s a real story that can happen to anyone. The story goes like this…

• Male, 47 year-old, business failed and health is bad. Debt ridden. Too sick to work. No income.
• 16 year-old daughter is suffering from terminal illness.
• 18 year-old son needing money to go college.
• Entire family now live on wife megre clerk salary.
• The man had sold off his house in USJ. to pay part of his mounting debt, moved to a rented USJ 16 Pangsapuri Rakyat, struggle to pay the RM450 rental every month. (the owner probably pays much less then this amount to the state government for the flat!, part of the special priviledge package.)

If the clock can be turned back 5 years and if you are the man, what would u do differently to avoid financial disaster of this magnitude?

The moment I read that, my heart just sank. I had been through a similiar crisis and it was HORRIBLE. One of my friends experienced it before as well. We were both young teenagers during those times, and we were VERY lucky to have made it through. The mental and emotional anguish can be so overwhelming, that it immediately puts a person at risk of loosing his sanity!

Okay, enough of me. Let’s get back to the story. There’s another point that I see in here, and guys should buy me a drink for pointing this out. haha! Well, whether we girls want to admit it or not, I feel that men do face a lot of pressure. They might even have much more pressure than us! From young, they are stemmed with the pressure to succeed. When they grow up, they’re forced with the role of breadwinner and to provide for his family. Don’t talk about having children, even getting a wife costs a bomb nowadays.

But I hear wives complaining so often, about their husband’s mood swings, lack of attention towards home, that their husbands don’t spend enough time with them, and son on, and so forth. And because of these small problems, the women breaks down and cries for a divorce. *sigh*

I think most of us tend to forget that, when we (the ladies) fail at home, we’re always forgiven, but when men fail at work, they have to face the whole world and be humiliated. Also, I think it’s a very very heavy responsibility to be the breadwinner, because everyone’s dinner depends on that person. If anything bad happens, the family will be in trouble. When men carry such a heavy responsibility on their shoulders, I think it’s only reasonable that they should have mood swings and should be allowed to have their own space as well. Why should they be blamed for not spending enough time with their wives, when they’re actually working for the family? Like it or not, men are insensitive from the start. So don’t expect them to treat you the same during difficult times. Silent treatment is fine by me but nothing physical.

Now, as for the women, before you grab your sticks and pans, let me just clear myself. To me, being a housewife, (or part-time housewives) you’re actually in one of the most noble profession. Without you, everyone will have to fend for themselves. Without you, no one’s going to prepare dinner and make sure everyone goes to school on time. Without you, the men might even be late for work! So, I really don’t understand why many young girls nowadays see being housewives as taboo. (I’m not saying that I want to be one, okay) But maybe, this is what makes being a housewife so special. Because not everyone is willing to do the job, giving up their career and social life for the family, well it’s almost like giving up their whole lives for the family. But why not? In other words, would you sacrifice for your family? Do you love them so much that you would die for them? If you do, then I don’t understand why being a housewife should be last resort.

To sum everything up, I think both husband and wife play very important roles. Should anyone of them fail in their “job”, the family will be in trouble. Yes, yes, I am an egalitarian.