Yvonne Foong

Very soon, mom and I will be shifting back to PJ old town. Staying in my grandma’s house would mean no more tiresome car rides all the way to college from Subang Jaya. Yahoo!

Staying in PJ Oldtown is like going back in time, to the days when my Por Por (maternal grandma) was still around. We used to leave home in the wee hours of morning to visit her in PJ few times a week. We’d either find her in bed or in the kitchen while waiting for our arrivals. Por Por was already ill-stricken with arthritis by time I was born, so the earliest memories I still have of her are not without a walking stick.

Since Por Por couldn’t walk much, mom used to leave us in the car while she went shopping for Por Por’s groceries at the nearby wet market.

Por Por used to complain, “Look, your ma-ma must have gone chit-chatting. She’s taking forever!”

And whenever I relate this particular memory to mom, she’d go, “aiyah… your Por Por was forever impatient!”

Like mother, like daughter, like grand-daughter. Now you know where my impatience come from. Maybe it’s the hakka genes.

Next, we’d head back to Por-Por’s house where after unloading the groceries, we’d find ourselves munching breakfasts at a nearby coffeeshop.

I will always remember that particular coffeeshop, when Por-Por, mom, and I used to savour breakfast together. I either had hor-fun (noodles) or eggs and milo, while Por Por used to have her pau.

Those were the days when Por Por could still walk. Por Por’s arthritis worsened throughout my childhood, and by time I was in upper primary school, she had to use a wheelchair all day long.

Por Por had always favoured me because I was the only hakka-speaking grandchild who lived nearby. All her 7 children were either married or lived independant lives. The only son who stayed back wasn’t very dear, so Por Por was quite lonely in her last days.

When Por Por passed away in year 2000 after a second brain hemorrhage, I regretted not spending more quality time with her. If only I had chosen to visit her instead of taking up ballet and figure skating, Por Por would have died a happier person. Nevertheless, she left this world with a sweet, peacefully smiling face gracing her in the coffin.

This evening, mom and I went back to PJ Old Town while some guys from Telekom came to install the new phoneline. Resulting from the recent publicity hype of old-school kaya and toasts, I had a sudden desire to patronize that coffeeshop Por Por used to visit.

Unfortunately, it has recently been converted into a laundry shop. I was very dissapointed, but a similiar shop just around the corner perked me up.

It even comes with nice name. “OLD TOWN CORNER” Ha!

All for RM3.20

They didn’t have the old-school kaya and toast, but these yellowish buns were good enough to make up for it. They had kaya spreaded in the middle and was oven-baked, causing them to be slightly crispy.

Dipping steamed kaya buns into half-boiled eggs before tasting the scrumptious aroma amidst middle-aged folks who spend their remaining days watching TV with friends at a neighbourhood coffeeshop.

Por Por, I’m coming home!

A dream so lucid it captivates my mind
with a river that flows in my direction,
Feelings of renewal and freshness combine,
As God’s love streams in purification.
My hands and face He cleansed.

Like an egg that hatch amidst fresh greeneries,
Or a sheltered tortoise emerging from its shell,
that had laid hidden from worldly adversaries,
is now brimming with fullness like a well
outpouring my overflowing treasured self.

Composed by Yvonne Foong, 25-April-2006

This poem was written in first person for a friend.

I did not blog in the last two days simply because I did not know of anything worth writing about, but now I do. On Saturday, I was invited by the Rotary Club to give a 30-minute speech at ROTARY CLUB OF BUKIT KIARA SUNRISE. The response was very encouraging and we managed to raise a whooping RM6,000 through donations and selling t-shirts on the spot. A big thank you to Mr. Naga and the club members for welcoming my presence.

On Sunday, however, my spirituality suffered a temporal storm. I was literally in a pit, not knowing if the path I am on is right. I shared this with a couple of friends and Joel (from Inti College) suggested that I go on a fast.

So I began fasting since 9pm last night until 9:30pm this evening. This was my first time going without food (and drips) for 24 hours straight since time immemorial. I usually end up having gastric whenever I delay taking meals. But with God, anything is possible. Ari came over in the afternoon to spend me a cup of cuppa (I allowed myself to drink), to encourage and also to pray with me.

I didn’t plan when exactly to end the fast, so I just let every minute and every hour pass like usual. Miraculously, I did not feel hungry except for the occasional realization of my empty stomach. I did not feel weak either.

I had hoped that God would provide an obvious answer to my dilemma during the fast, but He did not. When I began feeling hungry at around 9pm this evening, I knew it was time for me to eat again.

While eating, I felt very peaceful and happy.

Instead of an obvious answer, He reminded me of the many gifts that He has given me that are worth focusing on. I began giving thanks for His love and dedication in providing according to my heart’s desires.

Whenever I feel lost and lonely, I should remind myself of all the miracles God has done for me. By doing so, I will know that I am right on track, because a person who is truly lost will be blinded from witnessing His grace.

Many might think that God should have healed me if my testimonies are real. I tell you, God has His own time and reason for everything. I know it by heart that God intends to heal me in His own time. Look how much I have learned and grown as a person from this delay, and so many people are responding with kindness and love towards my cause.

I am already so blessed as a person. When I had no money to study, God gave me a full scholarship. When I wanted to get published, God sent John to help prepare the book. When I wanted to improve myself, God sent me many people to teach and guide my spiritual journey. When I wanted companion, God sent me true friends who like me for who I am inside. When I wanted to be loved, God gave me wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ.

Whenever I am sad, God picks me up. Whenever I feel tired, God provides me strength. Whenever I am clueless, He show me signs.

All these, are more than enough to answer my dilemma. With God’s love, there is no doubt about the future. Knowing His presence in my life, and Him blessing every of my relationship with others, I will not be afraid, because God loves me.

Many years ago, I watched an English movie where a boy was alone onboard a plane. A young airstewardess came to check on him.

Stewardess: Can I help you?
Boy: I don’t know. Can you?
Stewardess: *clears throat and rephrase meticulously” MAY I help you?
Boy: *smirks* Yes, I’d like to have a drink.

I found the boy’s response to be very thoughtful. Being brought up in Malaysia, I was barely trained to use correct English at all times.

But as a writer, I’m now often encouraged to use correct words, because a single wrong word can alter the meaning of an entire sentence. Even though it has been years since watching that movie, it remains fresh in my mind, so I always make it a point to phrase such questions properly. However, the answer is not always pleasant. I often get responses like these:

Me: Would you help me?
X: Depends
Me: *okay so it’s conditional” Nevermind then. *walks off*

But once in awhile, I’d meet people who are equally meticulous with words.

Me: Hi! Would you help me?
X: Sure! I would, if I can.
Me: Oh, I need help in reading the instructions. I don’t understand Spanish.
X: Sorry, I can’t read spanish either.
Me: Nevermind then. Thanks for willing to help anyway. *smiles and walks off satisfied”

I guess many don’t realize the appropriate usage of the words, “would”, “can”, and “may”.

If I had use the word “can”, the sentence would have a different meaning altogether.

Me: Can you help me?
X: That depends.
Me: I need help reading the instructions.
X: Oh, sorry, but I don’t read Spanish. I would love to help if I can.
Me: *smiles sweetly* aaw… that’s alright. Thank you. God bless you!

But usually, the sentence, “can you help me?” isn’t used as the first sentence of a request. It usually goes like this.

Me: I don’t understand the instructions. Can you help me?
X: Oops… sorry I can’t read Spanish either.

In the above dialogue, I have already made clear my needs, and thus, the question, “can you help me?” is appropriate.

The sentence, “would you help me?” is a question of WILL.
“Can you help me?” is a question of CAPABILITY.

So if I ask, “Would you help me?” and the person says, “depends”, I’d get the impression that the person is not very willing to help regardless of what the favor may be.

Then again, many Malaysians also tend to mistake the words “will” and “would”.

The amount of corruption and deceit in Malaysia might very well be the couse of this. People tend to doubt right away when someone asks for help, without enquiring what is needed of them. Hence, the usage of words like, “would”, “could”, and “may”, is often mistaken.

Ofcourse, I could have just skipped the question and let my needs be known right away. But by asking “would you help me?”, I’d get to know how open and comfortable people are.

So, would you buy my book when it’s published?

Disclaimer: I know my English is not perfect either, but it doesn’t mean I should tolerate mistakes. Let’s all learn English together!

Oh… before I forget, I scored A in my first semester~!! That’s a GPA and CGPA 4.0, because I took only subject - public relations. hehe… but not bad right? Considering that I studied while being entirely deaf. So happy la, must celebrate!!!!! I deserve more than a pat on the back lar… aih… life is so mundane these days….

Like Chet, I’ve also been writing the wrong genre!

You Should Be a Romance Novelist

You see the world as it should be, and this goes double for all matters of the heart. You can find the romance in any situation, and you would make a talented romance story writer… And while you may be a traditional romantic, you’re just as likely to be drawn to quirky or dark love stories. As long as it deals with infatuation, heartbreak, and soulmates - you could write it.

Time to stir my ship to the right direction. But love story, me?

The bible verse, “Faith is the substance of things hope for, the evidence of things not seen“, shall be included in my new blog header when Jun Kit is done with it.

I’ve been very keen on understanding God lately. He has brought many people to teach and guide me in my spiritual life. For a long time, I failed to see the true reason for my existence and God’s purpose for me. By including God in every of my relationship with people, I began to understand the true purpose of this BIG plan. God wants to change me into a loving and caring person who brings joy to others.

As the only child, I have always been the center of attention. Without siblings, I learned to protect and defend myself from harm and unfair treatments. My illness has also made me overly self-concious, always looking out for every single pain and discomfort. Being the only child, I had to be alert and calculative to personally protect my own interest. I believed that if you don’t take care of yourself, no one would.

But God is slowly changing me. He intelligently place people in my life to teach me love, care, patience, forgiveness, and understanding. Praise God for opening my eyes, so that I can gradually see the purpose of every relationship with others.

I want to provide warmth, comfort, and security to those who come to me for companionship and assistance. This was actually included in my prayer some time ago.

God truely is a loving God who delights in rewarding His children. All we have to do is ask.

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” Hebrews 11:6

To receive, we must first learn to give.

By delighting in the Lord, I learn to love and care for others. In turn, God answers to my heart’s desires, things that are meant to be stored in Heaven.

I’ve always thought that spreading NF awareness was my ultimate purpose in life, but as I have now discovered, my true purpose is much greater than that.

There came a forwarded email from a friend named Ari. In the mail is a story written by Russ Lawson about spotting an extraordinary tree while driving. The tree was a beautiful sight from afar, but as he approached, the trunk was noticably gnarled and misshaped, probably due to years of being a playground to children, struck by natural disaster, or crashed and crippled by passing vehicles.

Yet, despite all that it has gone through, the tree was standing tall, bearing fresh green leaves and beautiful flowers that graced the scenery.

Life is like that, isn’t it? NF2 can be disabling, painful, traumatic, and troublesome. Going under the knives repeatedly, blood, stitches, injections, oxygen masks, pain killers, rehabilitation therapies… I’m far from being young and tender. I might even have aged beyond my years despite being small and chubby. At times, I’d get so physically drained, that I won’t have energy left to play, run, joke, and laugh with my friends.

Yet, in spite of all, God has rewarded me abundantly. He gave me the ability to write meaningful, inspiring messages that draw people to me. He sent John Ling and Sharon Bakar to help me write better. He probably gave me a small body so I may appear like a child who bring youthful joy to my surroundings. He gave me the ability to talk endlessly so that my friends will never be bored.

And most of all, He gave me a story. A very inspiring story that touches and nurture lives wherever I go.

Remembering the Alpha Omega Homeschoolers, the innocence of the children’s eyes as their faces glimmered in admiration, always touch a soft spot in me. That, is a priceless memory.

2 Corinthians 4:8-10 “We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don’t give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going. Through suffering, these bodies of ours constantly share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies”

Matthew 5:14-16, “You are the light of the world like a city on a mountain, glowing in the night for all to see. Don’t hide your light under a basket! Instead, put it on a stand and let it shine for all.”

After watching a movie this afternoon, some friends and I went window shopping at Sunway Pyramid. I kept an eye on men’s t-shirts, hoping to find some that a friend would like.

I didn’t manage to spot anything for him, who is close to being 30. That age, reminds me of the time when I was 12-13 years old. I was too young and small for teenager clothes, and too big for children clothes.

My friend is now at a similiar transition. I couldn’t picture him wearing brands like Tropicana Life, Roxy, Quicksilver, or other brands selling near the cinema. They’ll make him out to be an ah beng who doesn’t know his age.

Since those aren’t suitable, other choices include golf shirts, brands like Crocodile, and those selling at men boutiques. Those dull-colored t-shirts with stripes and minimum design, that would make him look way older than he actually is.

*sigh* This friend of mine reminds me of Harry, the protagonist in Man and Boy, a novel by Tony Parsons.

I hope that I will never have to deal with this dillemma when I come to his age.

I won a battle! I won a battle with the devil! I woke up in a startle from an ugly dream last night. I knew it wasn’t natural because I had gone to sleep in happiness. The dream contradicted the current real life situation, and I was saddened by it. I felt uneasy and disturbed, but because it wasn’t natural, I knew it was from the devil by instinct. I prayed to God and rebuked the devil immediately, and I was at peace again. Then, God made something sweet and personal happen to comfort and assure me that everything was alright.

Sorry that I cannot disclose more details than I already have. I just want you to know that God is very real, and the devil is very real too. I’m still considered a baby Christian but I’ve been learning a lot since I began walking with Christ.

I had doubted about the existence of the devil in the past, everytime I heard about him when bad things happen to other people. I thought it was only an excuse.

But after experiencing the devil for myself, I realized that evil forces are real, and so as God.

Similiarly, God is also very real whenever I receive wisdom during prayer. With God, there is no room for doubt, no fear, and the answers we receive are definite and forceful. God’s thoughts in us may seem natural, but it is actually a very sudden and surreal feeling that can barely be described in words. We might not be as thoughtful without God’s wisdom.

Believe me because I was a non-christian for the past 19 years, and these are all new encounters to me, after receiving God as my savior.

Non-believers might say we Christians are exxaggerating, but you can never be sure until you encounter it for yourself.