Yvonne Foong

At the bus stop this afternoon, a boy who sat beside me resembled a bit of John Ling. He also reminded me of young Joon Suh in Autumn Tale.

Isn’t it wonderful to remain that age forever? Growing up is so harsh.

Someone tells me that all men are bad. I didn’t want to believe her and thought her cynical. Human beings are inherently good, no?

Lately, my perception of men has began to change. Is he really nice? What’s he thinking behind that smile? What does he want?

Grace Chan’s experience working in nightclubs is nothing new. We often hear and talk about such things. But KNOWING and BELIEVING are different. As teenagers, you burst into ticklish giggles as you joke about men being sexual, mommy tells you to be careful and not to go out late, you develop self-confidence believing all men are socially integrated and won’t dare violate your boundaries. You dream of a perfect family with daddy the strong, protective figure. Along the way, you being meek and gentle, start needing help from men who are physically stronger. They seem kind and sincere. You being kind and sincere yourself, believe men feel the same when they act nice and sincere. And that’s what you know from your point-of-view.

Then, you come to a stage in life where WHAM, those stuffs that used to tickle a funny bone are not so funny anymore. Just the thought of them makes you feel violated as a woman. You don’t want to be seen as an item. You are a person worth respecting. Weren’t all men inherently good? You still want to believe so. Only now when they start being all nice and sweet, your defenses go up, your throat tightens.

Men might say their sexual instincts would be under control if women cover up. But you know, we girls wear with confidence, to feel good about ourselves, to have a positive self-image.

But not everyone thinks the same. Sometimes, I don’t know whether to trust or distrust. Ujen said he doesn’t want to be taken advantage of. Maybe I know what he means. If men can think and behave the way I described, women too. Yet I still don’t want to believe it’s true. Are men naturally adulterous?

That boy and I rode and sat together on the same bus, his demeanor a little guarded. He seemed the quiet type. Reminded me of Tremayne, Wei Jie, Kenneth, Zhen Yang… I miss them. I miss the times we spent together when I was 15, when boys were nice because mommy taught so..

I’m a late bloomer. Lately, men seem extra nice. So scary.

That’s why I like hanging out with Ben-Ben. So comfortable and homely. But he turned around and call me dependent. Seesh. He thinks all men are inherently good so I should hang out more with others.

P/S: I don’t support feminism either.

Posted in Friends |