Article: A Muskogee lesson
When revising the definition of reaction formation, I found this little excerpt on Wikipedia.
A Muskogee lesson
In his autobiography The Wind Is My Mother,[2] Muskogee shaman Bear Heart relays a lesson he as a child was presented by his uncle, Jonas Bear:
Jonas Bear once took me down to a pond and told me to look into it, asking, “What do you see?”
“I see my reflection.”
“Put this stick in the water and stir up your reflection.”
After I stirred it up, he asked, ” Now what do you see?”
“My face is all distorted.”
“Do you like what you see?”
“I know that it’s not supposed to look that way.”
“When you meet someone and you immediately dislike them, always remember you are seeing a reflection of yourselfâ€â€there is something you don’t like about yourself that you’re not owning up to. When you see it in someone else, then you don’t like that person, but in reality you are being displeased with yourself. Always remember that.”
I would have to disagree with the conclusion that an instant dislike is automatically self-related. Among other things it promotes too much focus on self and ignores the possibility that another person might actually be a negative influence.
The Spirit of God living within any Christian can immediately warn that Christian of the spirit of that other person. Many mothers who meet the friends of their children can attest to knowing instantly the character of the friend. This can be based on (in an unsaved person) recognition of body language, vocal intonation or other traits which give away character learned through experiences.
Mark La Roi: Perhaps, but I wouldn’t encourage my children to judge people based on first impression. Because those who went on hands and knees to help me out were not always generous or kind looking, serious! Some looked like villains!
Oh I agree with you, it takes time to learn how to gauge character without broadly judging the person based on the wrong traits. Physical form is almost never a criteria of character, unless of course he’s a pirate and has only one eye!
Kids can be fooled by the outer shell quite easily, but at the same time have a good sense of character too, it just takes time to develop accuracy. I’ve known some friends with severe facial deformities who scare children at first, but after a few moments those kids warm up to them because they see through the veil.
There are other people who are quite good looking physically, who make everyone around them quite uneasy due to what’s inside them.
I would teach my kids to go by first impression either, but I would teach them to be aware of what they are feeling and to examine why they are feeling it.