Yvonne Foong: Fighting NF

Yesterday, I had to do the difficult job of turning down an offer of help. A group of very enthusiastic young adults came together via Facebook in the name of charity. They have been providing assistance to community-based fundraisers. I was one of those people they extended a helping hand to few months ago. They passed the hat around and collected about RM2000, and they spread the news of my project. Then, they offered to help translate my book into Chinese for reaching out to more people and said we should discuss further after the surgery.

After two surgeries, we finally met again. The rush for raising funds slowed down as I went back to college. This gave me ample space to stand back and see clearer. I had the peace of mind to meet up,

When we met, the group briefed me on what they have discussed among themselves. They suggested that we should translate, publish and sell the Chinese version – as I’ve anticipated. But they also wanted 50% of the proceeds to help me while the other 50% will allow their club to assist other people in need.

This did not sound appropriate even though I understood their good intentions. But I couldn’t pint-point what’s wrong. I tried telling them in fragments about what has kept my fundraising going. I said it’s important for people to know where the money is going to, and people have known for over three years that the sale of my book, “I’m not sick, just a bit unwell” is to help fund my surgeries. But when we add their club’s mission in, we will be creating a lot of confusion. The group then said people who buy the book will not ask where the money is going to. This threw me off my feet but hastily, I said no that’s not how it has worked.

I did not want to act defensive and so decided to give them the matter of doubt. I suggested that if we are to go with the 50/50 plan, their club should handle everything from raising funds for the capital investment to publishing, marketing, and sales. Their version of the book should explicitly tell people who published it and where the money raised is going to. I also said that if this is to be the plan, then others can also come in to publish another Chinese version of the book too so that the club will not have exclusive rightsand I won’t be tied down. And so it went…

Other issues that concerned me were distribution, marketing, selling, and accounting. The last one was most worrisome.

The group was quite understanding and we agreed to meet again after putting in some more thought to how this project could be best handled.

We had a nice and simple dinner yesterday, before we sat down to discuss more. They had decided to heed my suggestion – they would be in-charged of everything but they insisted on the 50/50 plan.

I was still not able to be clear about my worries and tried to explain my position – who I am, what my fundraising has stood for, why people donate, et cetera.

It’s true that helping people is good and that’s what I’ve always wanted to do. This was what confused me. I thought to myself, “It’s good to help people isn’t it? But no.. it will backfire… but we can help people…but my surgeries are expensive…”.

Then one guy asked me a question that put matters into perspective. He asked, “Are you worried about not raising enough funds for your November surgery?”

It was then and with a firm voice that I could articulate what I felt. Looking into their eyes, I said:

It’s not that I am worried about raising enough funds.
Individuals like each of you here came forth because you trust that money given will help pay for my surgeries. You are able to see me get better. But the bigger portion of contributions come from groups, companies, and corporations. This population donate even though we have never met or known because they trust. If we confuse them and when people no longer trust or donate, who is going to pay for my surgeries?

On hearing this, the group discussed quite intensely and said if this was the case, they would not be translating my book into Chinese. But they will still help in other ways such as getting me opportunities to speak and raise funds.

I hope they understood that I was not undermining them.

The group’s members who turned up yesterday had interesting career and life experiences too.

Thus, it was also tempting to work with them knowing that with perseverance and consistent efforts, the book has the potential of reaching a wide audience.

But in the end, I decided to go with my gut feeling. Integrity and my relationship with supporters are more important. These are the things that kept my campaign going even though I lack the skills for running a real business.

At this stage in my life, I believe that the best way to help people is to concentrate on my education and become a fully competent Psychologist. But in order to achieve this goal, I need all the support I can get to maintain the quality of my health.

Now, the thing I need to do is to look for someone to translate my book.

MPH is running very low on the English version and it is not clear if they would sponsor another printrun,

So I better think ahead.