There is something I learned from trying my hands on everything. That is, the best favor you can do for others is simply by doing best at what you do.

You don’t have to reach for the moon, feed 100,000 starving children, or be well-known in the world.

The people who left the biggest impression in me were little known, they led the simplest lives. Friendships were few, but those stayed and walked along were worth so much no money could buy.

And these people showed me what it means to keep my feet firm on the ground.

There was Stephen Hawkings

In Malaysia, we have Tan Bing Xuan.

Never forget Brooke Ellison.

2001. Alicia’s done with her LLB. Going to do Maritime Law next.

I have been on national television, met important people, crossed the ocean and back. What a big roundabout. Only to learn a very simple lesson.

Life is worth living when there is meaning. It may be tough, lengthy, and lonely. But none of them would matter when you find that purpose to live by.

There is a long way more to go. But I’m beginning to enjoy research. It makes me believe that everyday I live will be worthwhile. I am not useless.

It seems that the more research papers I read, the further away I move from my intended proposal. Writing two research papers for two different subjects taught by the same lecturer is putting breaks on my ability to focus and think!

So I devised an intelligent plan to relate both proposals, modifying the design to fit different courses. Heh Heh.

Think I better stop searching and work on the materials that I already have.

These days, my use of the computer has been limited to Microsoft Word, Adobe Acrobat Reader, Mozilla FireFox, and occasionally Adobe Photoshop.

I’m thinking of selling my laptop, the one I carry to college, and use the money to get an eeePC.

I just need a basic notebook for studying. One that is as light as feather, to give my spine a break.

Oh, not to forget, a tiny notebook so my friends can type what Mr. Lecturer says.

Back to studying.

Idiot Ujen likes to make fun of me sometimes. Ah Ma, Aunty, Falling Down, what also got.

You think I chose to end up like this?

Even Mr. Lecturer seemed to be making fun of me. He remarked either ‘Excellent’ or ‘Outstanding’ for every of my qualities. Except when it came to ‘Curricular Activities‘, he indicated ‘Good‘.

Okay, I take that back. Mr. Lecturer was being nice to have considered my off-campus involvements which probably explained the ‘Good’.

Secondary school is now officially five years behind my back. I left school with an inaccurate extra co-curricular certificate because the administration conveniently lost my files. Only ‘Koir’ and “Squasy’ were indicated, while leaving out my Computer Club presidency and Karate participation. Even then, my office roles in those clubs were not noted.

In my final days of school, I hunted down teachers, interrupting their hectic routines to their annoyance, just to get at least two clubs duly recorded in the certificate. Better than none. That’s government bureaucracy for you.

And there’s the MSSS Squash Tournament and Computer Club National Competition certificates printed in the Malay Language. Any clue how I can get these translated with little hassle?

Funny, huh. A Univ. Sophomore falling back on her Secondary School involvements to get extra merits. Good thing NF only affected me starting in my 13th year and did not put me in a wheelchair until Form 4. Otherwise, I would not even have these to back me up now.

If so, only AYA and my book would save the day.

By the way, did you know our schools used to collaborate with the University of Cambridge Local Examinations Syndicate until 1978? They’ve since ceased to be responsible for SPM, but continued to advise us on standards.

One wonders how often they actually take a peak around here. Sigh!

My use of math have long been reduced to simple equations. I’d slow down a pace and made sure I repeat each calculation thrice over for fear of missing a digit or two. My arithmetic teachers would not be pleased to know. Boy, I sure hope they don’t demand for my certificate back the next time we meet!

Speaking of arithmetic, I used to send Mr. Yang boiling. There were probably 20 of us in class. We raced to calculate strings of equations as many as possible. When the timer went off, we stopped altogether. The pressure was in getting answers right rather than rushing to finish them. Some students got many wrongs despite finishing fast and got a good shelling from Mr. Yang. As for me, my speed was average, not too fast but not slow either. However, my mistakes were in simple questions while getting all difficult ones right! Apparently, when calculating simple questions, I tended to slow down which caused mistakes to happen. Mr. Yang who thought I was playing around gave me an earful. When it came for us to learn division, Mr. Yang’s wife, Ms. Chen, noticed my unique ability. Seeing me struggle, she set me aside after class one day and taught me a special method. While others used the abacus for the two steps required in division, she taught me to retain the first step as a mental representation and used the abacus only in the second step. I could then calculate as usual and got answers right. But Mr. Yang always forgot. Once, he saw that I did not use the abacus entirely and scolded me real bad. I went crying to Ms. Chen, who spoke with her husband and explained to him why she taught me this method. Mr. Yang did not apologize, but silencing his thundering voice was already very good.

Mr. Yang and Ms. Chen are native Taiwanese who runs a Mental Arithmetic school in Subang Jaya until this day. We still see them around every so often. Nice people, but strict. I used to get a mild temperature on lesson days and would assume I was sick just so I could skip class. Although Mr. Yang’s students broke down from his roller coaster outburst, many preferred him over Ms. Chen’s silent approach. She never raised her voice or nagged at us. But a quick and gentle remark like, ‘How are you going to improve like this?’ would make you feel so bad, you pronounce yourself guilty without trial.

I graduated and departed from mental arithmetic school at 12 years old. But the same occurred to my general usage of math, or so it happened. The ‘A’ I got in my UPSR examination was the last. I could not learn any math in secondary school. Whether it was my inability to adapt with the new school, or that I could not see the blackboard well, still eludes me. My parents had never taken interest in my studies, so instead of finding out what happened I resigned and eventually believed that I wasn’t cut out for math. Later, when I returned to school after two major surgeries, my math halted entirely.

Now, before you think that I just wasn’t intelligent enough for secondary math, do remember effective education should be in sync with a child’s mental development. Since I did well in primary six and UPSR, and was among the better ones in Mental Arithmetic school, it is evident that I had no problem calculating. Something else had caused me this.

The university I am applying to requires either SAT scores or take two college level math subjects. Unfortunately, I have none. Two semesters ago, I signed up for Statistics but quit after the midterm exam. I wasn’t learning well in class, nor did other students but at least they could opt to memorize. Every one of those I’ve asked, memorized. So I deferred the paper, against the Head od Department’s advice. I never signed up for it again or take other math papers because they’re all taught by the same lecturer.

When I look back at my experiences in secondary school and the way this lecturer taught, I sense the reason why I couldn’t learn. Recall my Mental Arithmetic days, I got it right in places where others got wrong. I could not calculate with conventional methods and had to be taught differently.

That does say a lot about learning and development, doesn’t it?

Segi College’s American Degree Program raised the passing grade to 70 since January 2008. To get an A, one needs to achieve 90 marks and above. 80 and above for a B. and 70 above for a C. Anything below that fails.

I took four subjects in Spring. Guess what I got?
2 A 2 D.

It wasn’t by intention, but it happened this way - either a good grade, or none.

The As were taught by Mr. Leighton Buntain and Mr. Arivom respectively.
At least it shows that I can excel given the right system and learning environment. Malaysian education needs serious reform.

P/S: Segi’s marking system still has much room for improvement though.

Oh dear, it’s 3am in the morning. I woke up from sleep feeling unsettled and disturbed. I have been misrepresented in own my column in The Malay Mail, on June 5, 2008.

Phases of Blogging

….With the help of local bloggers, we kick started a project called Heart4Hope. We sold custom designed t-shirts by James Tan and handmade accessories by April Yim to raise funds. Beautiful stuffs. And beautiful people, mainly bloggers were chipping in…

Please be aware that I did not write the sentence underlined. I never would say such a thing. As I have struggled to explain in the previous post, the people who went on hands and knees to help me raise funds for surgery were people among the general public, young and old, whom I did not even know. They gripped me. They touched and humbled me so much so that they have been the people I remember every time I slack. Memories of them motivate me to stay grounded in my academic pursuits, to lead a socially responsible and purposeful life. Because I want to pay it back.

I miss each and every one of them. We might never meet again, but I believe they have been reading my writings in the newspapers, including The Malay Mail. I wish they will know how dearly I hold on to the blessings they have given me, how I never want to forget the things they have done for me.

There were separate groups of people from the general public who came together and raised the bulk of my funds used for the October 2006 surgery. The amount they raised ranged from RM2k, RM10k, RM30k and beyond, mostly through simple ways, like asking their friends and acquaintances to buy my tees.

This is what I mean by ‘wanting to be popular, as in someone among the population’. Although I maintain a regularly updated blog read by many, I do not want to live under the shell of blogging. The people who support me come from all walks of life that I cannot even come close to imagining. Most of them do not blog. I do not want to kick them out of the picture now that the previous surgery is over. What more when they have become the driving forces of my life?

Having said that, I do acknowledge and appreciate for the help by bloggers who placed up banners, wrote about me, and linked to my blog when I was raising funds. Some also donated and bought my products. I could not have generated that much publicity without them.

I wish editors would understand how dearly I hold my media writings. Especially when refering to experiences, it is a matter of principles.

In order to write this week’s column in The Malay Mail, I did some fast checking on Oon Yeoh and found my own blog post three years ago. As many of you readers have remarked, my book, “I’m not sick, just a bit unwell” was written in simple language, a quick read. In truth, much credit is owed to my editor, John Ling, who tirelessly combed through each sentence and tightened the copy by half. As I recall, my own copy was long-winded, with too much description that only served to slow down the plot. For the action thriller author, that was a big no-no.

I have my insecurities. As time went by, memory reconstructed itself, and I remember my own writing as something much worse than it really was. Until I read this post again and thought, “Oh, it wasn’t so bad.” In fact, I used to receive more comments than I do nowadays.

So what has happened? Probably, the more serious I take my writing, the harsher my inner critic becomes. The result of which is dry and overly careful. Or rather, I might have been too concerned with how others perceive me. As The Malay Mail Consultant and Protem Editor of my pieces suggested, I just need to let go.

You know, just when I am beginning to immerse myself in everything Psychology, writing opportunities come knocking one after another. Someone had just asked me for PR services which I am excited about. Then again, I am always excited to make a change. I guess the study of Psychology has somehow made my skills more marketable. So that good writing is groomed by the writer’s life experiences and personality. This only goes to show how important higher education is.

I’ve just written a 2,800+ word biography for a book to be published in the U.S. Yeee… can’t wait!

It was great returning to college after 2 weeks of sitting and writing at home. Meeting up with Mr. Liew always brings back memories, back to a time when I could hear in college. I sang while the piano accompanied me on stage. Of all the people in college, only Kenrick and Mr. Liew knew the Yvonne who could hear. Mr. Liew’s getting old. One day, four years ago, Mr. Liew surprised us when he turned up with his whitening hair dyed brown. The students were uncomfortable seeing him. He got uncomfortable seeing our discomfort seeing him, so that was the last time Mr. Liew dyed his hair.

My next stop was up on 10th floor. Nothing much seems to have changed in the semester timetable. This part always excites me. Unlike U.K. and Aussie degree programs, we get to choose and plan our own time in the ADP program. Summer is a two-month short semester. That means time will be limited. Each subject will have two classes per week, lasting 1 ½ hours each. Should I pick one PSY subject and one General Requirement subject? Ah, I need to get my degree plan sorted out, make sure that I do, indeed, need more General subjects before signing up. Should I choose some elective subjects? Oh, brother, they are not my cup of tea!

So Developmental Psychology and Cognition, it was. The college is turning environmental, as the amount of subjects registration forms went from 5 pieces down to two. My Academic Advisor Mr. Francis who went through the forms, was surprised to find Cognition offered. He signed them and off, I went down to the Bursary Dept. on Ground Floor.

The lady keyed in my student ID, jotted down some, and when she returned my forms, it said, “Under Scholarship 100%”

John Ling, who graduated and found employment in NZ will have a portion of his salary deducted each week. It is to repay his student loan to the NZ government. Interest-free. He can repay anytime. There‘s no pressure. “I don’t know about others, but this is what makes me feel wanted. Because they have given me an education, it makes me want to stay and pay it back.”

Being a scholarship recipient, I don’t have to pay money back. But I will definitely pay it back to society through my doings.

Malaysians are sometimes very critical of their own kind. They can be harsh when it comes to dealing with people who speak and live differently. You can’t help wondering if these people are your own countrymen, sometimes. Society is becoming unforgiving and competitive. But my college, well, it’s where I feel belonged for now.

A trip to MPH in hopes of finding Walpola Rahula’s What the Buddha taught, left me with 84 ringgit less from the purchase of a Psychology text, christened Life Span Development by John W. Santrock.

So much for being an entrepreneur over Spring vacation. While Miss Marketeer ala Event Manager digests the plan, I am shifting gears. Back to scholar mode next week. You don’t know what I am saying? No worries. Time will tell.

Back to the textbook. I suspect MPH conspires with Segi College. Now that we have Psychology courses in town, the local stores have started to provide for this new generation of higher education consumers. Not long ago, KLCC’s Kinokuniya was the only solution.

P/S: Mr. Jason will be lecturing on Developmental Psychology - Early to Late Adulthood. So take note. Don’t buy Child Psychology or Development Through Life - A Psychosocial Approach.

But I wonder if Life Span Development equals to Developmental Psychology. The contents look right though.

………………………..

Oh, I should have checked before buying. Referring to UIU’s 2006 - 2007 catalog… there are THREE related, but different courses!

They are…

1) Human Growth, Development, and Guidance.
2) Developmental Psychology: Birth to Adolescence.
3) Developmental Psychology - Young Adulthood to Late Adulthood.

Number 3 is offered this Summer, which is a short, two-month semester. At least we won’t have to rush - I hope. As for the book, over buying is better than under buying.

Say, may God bless us. I want to sign up for P6Y 409 - Psychology of Disaster next. One wonders who would be the lecturer, if ever. And where should I find the textbook?

And… and… may we have SOC/CJ 307 Criminal Law and SOC/CJ 333 Criminology? And subjects from Health Service Administration and some from History? Cuz the current elective options in Segi scare the hell out of me. Imagine a Psychology major sitting in Economics and Management classes!

Last but never least - When can we try a different lecturer for Statistics? Until it happens, I won’t sign up and still hope to benefit from that subject in Segi.

Everyone is complaining. One wonders if the management is aware.

I should blog more, lest readers forget my style of writing. Being deaf has aided me in finding a unique identity without being influenced as much as hearing people would be. Many were perplexed when they heard me giving speeches. They wondered how a Deaf person could speak so well.

I believe the reason is multi-faceted. For one, I am naturally an introverted person. Most of my days are spent thinking aloud. The editor in me works round the clock, composing one piece after another. Many of which never expressed in reality. I rather stay home like that, than bringing my editor to shopping malls where it wouldn’t rest anyway.

I have a habit of shutting out the world and rest in solitude. This was probably learned during my years as a Ballet dancer. I remember the annual concerts at PJ Civic Hall. Not counting pre-school, my first staged dance happened on my 7th or 8th year, or grade 1 in Ballet. Standing on center stage, under the heat of spotlights, made me feel small. Despite not being able to see the audience, I knew that dark space meant I was placed under the microscope. But I had to dance, I must work it out. So gradually, I became less fearful and more capable of shutting out the world, dancing for myself.

When speaking to a crowd these days, I speak like I speak to the editor in me. I do expect a response, a positive one in fact. But the response is often an imaginary voice since I can‘t hear well. And that’s how I appear cheerful on stage.

It’s easier to be congruent when you’re deaf like me.

My classmate wrote me a note containing topics that our final exam would cover. This is the list, apparently taken down verbatim because it’s identical with another student’s copy.

1. Roger’s and Maslow’s need.

Fine.

2. Personality and health, and it’s link to illness.

Okay.

3. Personality health and stress issues.

Alright.

4. Alder.

Very well.

5. Erickson’s Psychosexual Stages,

You mean, Erickson’s interpretation of Freud’s theory?

6. Eysenck’s Hierarchical Model
Personality.

Something is very wrong.

Better text someone.