My friend asked how much I was paid as a kindergarten teacher. “Wonder whether I should apply,” she said.

‘You can’t”.
“Oh why?”
“Need a Diploma in Education, at least, if not a degree.”
What education? You don’t need education to teach kindergarten ma”.
“MAJOR in Education”

Actually, I was being mean. You don’t always need a diploma to teach kindergarten in Malaysia. But let’s not limit ourselves. Malaysia has no standard, but we don’t have to succumb.

She could have asked how I taught then. I was just 18, with nothing but the SPM certificate.

Trust me, you don’t want to teach children without proper training. Until this day, I still can’t shake off the guilt for imposing my adult ideals onto those children, without regards to what they really need.

On the eight floor of Segi College, Subang Jaya, hung a portrait of Maria Montessori cradling a child. It read, “The first responsibility of an educator is to recognize the personality of the child and respect it”.

Respect for the personality of the child. Sounds easy enough. But no one can do that without first experiencing some kind of training or education, whether formal or informal, that brings us close to the intrinsic parts of life that so many choose to avoid. Because it would nag at your own.

When we speak of personality, we think of those personality fads that can be found in lifestyle magazines. But here, we are talking about the personality development of children, the very first stages of life, that pre-determines whether a child would grow up to become emotionally congruent, whether the child will always feel an underlying peacefulness or dysphoria, whether sane or psychotic. On the milder edge, early childhood experiences pre-determines how big your brain would be, how many neural connections will be pruned, whether you will make it through school, score in Maths or limited to handiwork.

In other words, the livelihood of young children are in your hands. And that’s not far from the truth.

It sickens me now to think that I once took up the role without any prior training in childhood education. Like so many Malaysians seem to think, I assumed that you need only the ability to read and write, in order to teach little children. What a notorious assumption!

It became worse when the principal forced children of multiple age groups into one class because there were not enough teachers. And screamed at them when the kids did not behave the way she wanted.

Young children are highly dependent on caregivers, not just to fill the tummy. They need us to provide for their physiological needs. Our attention helps regulate their emotions, to mirror them, so that they would know whether to feel happy or sad, or whether to feel at all. They need our attention and validation when children learn autonomy and start exploring the world, or they may harbor inferiority. Children must not be silenced, but need to have their behaviors reciprocated with positive response for desirable behavior and not so positive for less desirable ones. If they are merely silenced, they would start keeping quiet, but not because they know what was wrong. They merely feel inferior., forever.

These are just among the many things I discovered through my readings and personal experiences. Managing a group of young children at once is no easy feat. Even qualified teachers need a lot of training. Because we, as the educator will be tested, pushed to the edge of sanity. We would be dealing with another human being so dependent on our providences. we CANNOT snap. If we snap, the child might snap along. Or the child may repress the trauma we create, but sink into depression or worse still, psychosis much later in life. Imagine that, without first testing our own boundaries through proper training in childhood education. It is so tedious that state laws in the U.S. legislate provisions that require childhood educators at public institutions to meet stringent requirements.

It’s very sad to deal with friends and acquaintances with some form of psychological and behavioral problems knowing their reasons may be traced back to early childhood experiences. There is little I could do, but say a little prayer and wish I could turn back time to make their childhood better.

Unqualified educators should be shot.

But guess what? We have Malaysians saying those who cannot earn a degree should become Play Therapists.

Yet the rest of the world needs to earn professional licenses in play therapy on top of their masters or doctorate degrees.

And Psychiatrists cannot perform psychotherapy without license in counseling psychology. Run far far away when you meet one who pretends he can.

Curiosity got the better of me. I grinned and asked to have a look. It’s a Wiley title.

Check out what they have in store. CLICK

Oh my God! I want everything! Maybe I should do my internship at Wileys and get to steal a read of all those books. Heh!

So now I know. If I need to get something, browse Wiley Publishers

As for the girl, she probably got it from some indie book seller. The receipt was telling. But I did not see well enough to know where that was.

You don’t have to reach for the moon, feed 100,000 starving children, or be well-known in the world.

The people who left the biggest impression in me were little known, they led the simplest lives. Friendships were few, but those stayed and walked along were worth so much no money could buy.

And these people showed me what it means to keep my feet firm on the ground.

There was Stephen Hawkings

In Malaysia, we have Tan Bing Xuan.

Never forget Brooke Ellison.

2001. Alicia’s done with her LLB. Going to do Maritime Law next.

I have been on national television, met important people, crossed the ocean and back. What a big roundabout. Only to learn a very simple lesson.

Life is worth living when there is meaning. It may be tough, lengthy, and lonely. But none of them would matter when you find that purpose to live by.

There is a long way more to go. But I’m beginning to enjoy research. It makes me believe that everyday I live will be worthwhile. I am not useless.

The last dish you prepared for me was roasted chicken, with your homemade mashed potatoes arguably the best in Malaysia.

Sometimes, you added a bit more spices than usual, but I don’t mind. It only meant that you made them with bare hands. Wasn’t that so?

Only pseudo chefs would pretend to make a dish taste the same every single day. You were not like that.

I was so proud of you that I even invited my friend, Yuin Yin, to come taste your food right after her cancer treatments.

She ordered your strawberry milkshake. Did I ever told you how much she love strawberries? Even though the surgery dulled her tastebuds, she insisted to try.

And Reuben. Do you remember Reuben? He took the semester off and went to China on mission. I am sorry for him for he did not manage to see you one last time. That boy loved your sandwiches.

The same as what you did to every dish, you made his sandwiches with such dedication. I would never find better ones anywhere else in Malaysia.

How are you, Dennis? Have you boarded the plane? I am sure you miss home in U,K, Especially your little girl.

Will we see you again?

I tried out the new chefs today. They are young lads. 20-odd Malaysians sporting a baseball cap and black tee. My friend said their chickens were rough and the price was not worth it. So I carefully picked only mashed potatoes and salad.

You know what, yours are still the best of the best. At the very least, yours are homemade. You don’t buy frozen instant stuffs from the store and charge us for them.

Come back, Dennis.

I was such a diligent girl. I worked 36 hours straight on one research proposal and got a temperature. When I dragged myself to class, I did not find you where you belonged. You know how depressing that was?

Academic research is tough and lonely. But I have no complains. At least, give me a decent chef for goodness sake.

Dennis, come back!

This is the route I take to mail your stuffs at the post office.

Home was so peaceful before Sri Kuala Lumpur was built. Followed by Taylors, Inti, and Metropolitan Colleges. If we knew this place will turn out the way it is now, we wouldn’t have bet our good money here.

Their only concern is the dollar sign. The more the better, while putting our lives at stake.

Uneven stone slabs. Cutting cost?

It’s one thing when you come here couple of times a week to get dinner or pay the bills.

It’s another when you’ve lived here for year, watching the place turn into a 3rd world horror throughout the 22 years of your life.

It used to be so wonderful to live in.

Who’s going to give me back my home?

And the houses here worth at least half a million these days. But at the cost of our safety and mental health.

These pictures are only possible on weekends. The roads become some jammed up on most days, it’s hard to even walk over to the stores a stone’s throw away.

This notebook was bought in April 2007. I wanted something that my friends can use to assist me in class.

Despite it having the specs of any reliable laptops, I mostly used it for internet browsing, typing word documents, reading PDF files, and blogging. I barely downloaded any media with this notebook.

Besides this unit, I have a DELL laptop at home that I use as my main computer. So this explains why the one I am selling has barely been used despite bringing it to college and gatherings. It’s exterior is clean and free from scratches.

It weighs a little below 1.8kg. Most people may find this weigh bearable, but having been through a disabling spine and three brain surgeroes, 1.8kg becomes a lot when I have to carry other things with me. Therefore, I decided to sell it and use the money to get myself an ASUS eeePC which weighs less and more suitable for my usage.

Date Bought: 19th June 2007 (indicated on Warranty Card)
Price when I bought it: RM1,799.00
Installed with Genuine Windows XP that cost me an additional RM300.
Total Price I paid: RM2,099.00
Asking Price: RM1,300.00

Basic Specs:

Hyundai M-Life WHITE Laptop

System Model M721S

MICROSOFT XP Home Edition (Genuine) installed.
Service Pack 2 Build 2600
Processor: T2080 x86 GenuineIntel Family 6 Model 14 Stepping 12 1.73 GHz
Physical Memory: 1,024MB
Total Virtual Memory: 2GB

Total Hard Disk Space 75GB
DVD R/W CD-R Optiarc DVD-RW AD-7530A
Built-in 1,3M Webcam
12.1 TFT LCD display
Direct Sound 3D Compatible
SiS Mirage 3 Graphics
2 Built-in Speakers
Built-in Microphone
Embedded 7-in-1 card reader
3 USB Ports
Bluetooth 2.0 Connectivity
3.5G Module Ready
Wireless LAN
LAPTOP BAG
PORTABLE A/C ADAPTER
USER MANUAL
DRIVER AND UTILITIES CD

3 Years Warranty from Date of Purchase. Meaning there are still 2 years of warranty left!

Here is an upgraded version of the same laptop.
They have roughly the same specs.

Write to me at yvonnefmn(at)gmail(dot)com

So I devised an intelligent plan to relate both proposals, modifying the design to fit different courses. Heh Heh.

Think I better stop searching and work on the materials that I already have.

These days, my use of the computer has been limited to Microsoft Word, Adobe Acrobat Reader, Mozilla FireFox, and occasionally Adobe Photoshop.

I’m thinking of selling my laptop, the one I carry to college, and use the money to get an eeePC.

I just need a basic notebook for studying. One that is as light as feather, to give my spine a break.

Oh, not to forget, a tiny notebook so my friends can type what Mr. Lecturer says.

Back to studying.

My Aunt in U.K. bought the shorts for me last year. I have it in white color too. The baggy cut pitches me into the outgroup among Malaysians living in K.L. I did not quite fancy them, despite them hanging easy and comfortable on my hips.

Out of curiosity, I had a look at the brand this morning. It’s an Eddie Bauer!

My aunt has a knack at shopping for bargain prices and finding good quality clothes. Her daughter worked at Marks & Spencer so half my wardrobe is made up of Mark & Spencer summer wears. One year, she bought me a good pair of jeans. ‘One Pound!’ she proudly proclaimed.

There is an Eddie Bauer outlet where Eddie Wong the Cooknengr lives. I went looking in there, twice, without knowing I actually have them at home!

Here in K.L. many of us go gaga while shopping at Forever21, Zara and TopShop, swept away by the thrills of fast fashion. But fast fashion means, quality is always compromised. Whereas brands like Marks & Spencer and Eddie Bauer are made of better and longer lasting fabric. Their designs are simple, so you don’t have to worry about falling out of trend.

This pair of shorts can easily last 10-20 years. Just wait and see.

By the way, which picture do you prefer? The original or the brightened one?

Near the market at Petaling Jaya OldTown, across Public Bank, a young man braves the afternoon heat to sell Tau Fu Fah by the road everyday.

For only RM1.20, you get a tub enough to fill my tummy and call it a meal. That’s PJ OldTown for you.

Extremely soft. It doesn’t cut like jelly or turn watery like those cheapskate Subang Jaya sellers produce for nearly double the price.

So what’s a mommy gotta do? Cook for her only daughter, of course.

See that oily, sweaty face?

The tofu, beans, mushrooms, carrots, and other ingredients have already been diced and tossed into the sizzling wok by time I woke up.

Save for the spices, that were added later.

Remember the potatoes!

Add some butter to those mashed potatoes.

Lay it out with the pan. We lack an electric oven. Any donors?

All good to eat! Save the oven finish. Sob.

We usually drink coffee after a meal. But it’s not necessary when eating mommy’s pie. Just a habit.