It’s finally the year 2012 – the year that many anticipated this world to end. But for me, 2012 is the beginning of a new phase in life. Making my 1st book, “I’m not sick, just a bit unwell” available for purchase and download on the internet was the first step and it has spread awareness internationally. The book could be downloaded for free on Amazon on Christmas eve, Christmas day and Boxing day of 2011. Within those three days, “I’m not sick, just a bit unwell” was downloaded more than 1,000 times. Amazon UK recorded the highest number of downloads while Amazon USA came second. The book can now be purchased at USD0.99 a copy on Amazon in the month of January 2012. If you live in a country which Amazon has a market in, and if you have the Amazon Kindle, a smartphone or tablet PC with the Kindle app, you can easily download e-books like this to read on your electronic devices.
My new year’s resolution is to start working on my 2nd book. I already have the skeleton and a waiting publisher – the one that turned my 1st book into electronic format. I just have to stay focused and diligent at writing it.
Over the past year or so, I seem to have undergone some physiological changes that caused me to gain some weight, reduced my physical activity, changed my perception towards the environment and altered my personality somewhat. Writing my book requires me to sit in isolation and think for hours continuously, but I would rather be in communication with people these days. That is a change. Maybe I have grown more comfortable in my own skin, but while I can now better appreciate life in solitude, I have also grown so comfortable with myself that I am more open to others than before.
I have been told that my presence is comforting to others. I somehow put them at ease and make them forget about what was stressing them just an hour ago. So, I am trying to spend more time away from the computer and be in people’s company in real life to make a difference for others. This is why I appreciate every invitation and every opportunity to give motivational talks – because I have realized that it is not just my speech that motivates, it is my presence too.
Now, you might be wondering about my health especially since the sudden scare last week. A lot has happened in the past two weeks ever since I noticed that my head felt uncomfortable. It still does today, but the amazing thing about humans is our extraordinary ability to adapt and tolerate discomforts. The pressure in my brain has become tolerable, I have gotten used to it. But it’s impact on my vision is no mistake. It also drains me physically. Last week, Syahidah visited me at home with Satay as Christmas present. After talking with her in the kitchen for almost an hour, I suddenly look drained. In August 2011, we were fundraising at a two-day seminar in Genting Highlands where I was physically active yet not drained like this. Several others who paid me visits in the past two weeks have also noticed how I would suddenly look drained. If I choose to, I can easily tolerate this as well and not investigate any further into the cause. But knowing just how easy it is to overlook abnormalities is also the reason why I must stay vigilant and follow through with my quest to seek medical attention. After all, I want to continue giving motivational talks, and to do that, I must maintain my health.
A lot of neurosurgeons were on holiday throughout the past two weeks. I have requested Medicolegal of the NIH to send a copy of my medical records between October 2010 and December 2011 to Dr. Lekovic in Los Angeles and another copy to me in Malaysia. I hope the files arrive quickly. In the meantime, I also intend to seek a second opinion from the NF2 clinic at Harvard Medical School since they are dedicated to NF2 treatment and research. A local hospital just a stone’s throw away from my den has also offered to help in any way they can and is waiting for my medical records from the NIH to arrive.
Since the day my health took a twist recently, many people have come forward to help me raise funds for the impending treatments and offer their moral support. Their support and encouragement have been very comforting to me.





